Adventures of a Modern Day, Middle-Aged Hero, on the Glory Road(to family security)


Robbed by seasoning.

Very short article in the Tacoma Tribune's Police Blotter this morning about a 7-11 that was robbed the other night.  Guy walks in, tells clerk to give him cash or he gets pepper sprayed.  Clerk gives up cash, perp walks out.  End of story. 

It kind of got me to thinking though...if I was walking down the street in condition white, and someone pulled a can of pepper spray on me...would I let myself get robbed? 

First...I'm not Clint Eastwood.  I have always felt if I am in a bad situation and let someone get close to me with a gun out and on me...I'm not going to try to outdraw them...maybe play along and wait for an opportunity, but Roland of Gilead I ain't.  Now...facing a can of pepper spray I'd probably be more likely to draw and convince the gentleman he made a mistake.

But, what if I was on the way home from work, and I stopped at the store.  At that point, it becomes two questions: How much money am I willing to pay to avoid being pepper sprayed in the face...and if I don't hand over my cash, is he just going to take it out of my pocket as I am writhing on the ground in agony?

Let there be no doubt folks...I am a wimp...if I was carrying less than $100, I would probably hand it over to avoid getting sprayed, and consider it a bargain.  Somewhere in the $150-200 range, I might start being belligerent...and if the guy wants my wallet and credit cards, well...we are going to war.  Best case maybe I get close enough to 'share the love' with the bad guy, and we'll both be rolling around in the parking lot trying to scrape our faces off.

This is timely for me, because, like I said...I'm a wimp.  Two days ago, I picked the first two young jalapenos out of my garden, and I figured I would use them to make a few jars of spicy dill zucchini pickles.  I sliced one up, and in an attempt to decide how much pepper to add to each jar, I took a bite of this fresh jalapeno.

I've probably made bigger mistakes, but none of them involving food.  As someone who avoids habaneros, all I can say was that bite of fresh, young jalapeno was the spiciest thing I have ever had in my mouth.  I was rinsing and spitting with milk for like two minutes, and chewing bread, and rinsing with milk.  Even this next morning, my tongue still feels a bit rough.

I wasn't alone in thinking this pepper was hot...as I was sobbing over the kitchen sink, my wife took over playing with the pepper, and she said the fumes rising from the cutting board were enough to clear her sinuses. 

Maybe I just need to eat a few more of those peppers, and once I'm acclimated, I won't need to worry about pepper spray. 


  1. Pepper spray. BTDT.

    I was for all intents and purposes, almost completely blinded for 10 minutes or so.

    It's an interesting situation you bring up, and one I had not given much thought to.

    If the guy pepper spraying you in the face knows you have a gun, you're going to risk losing it to him, but how do you justify shooting someone armed with a decidedly non-lethal weapon?

    Hmmmm. Pondering....

  2. I just re-read that, and it sounds like I'm pondering a way to justify shooting someone.

    That was not my point.

    You get the idea.

  3. I got your point, and I'm not sure I totally agree with yor objection. I do agree with you that the pepper spray is non-lethal, but like you said, you were completely blind for 5-10 minutes. That is 5-10 minutes for Mr. Baddy to find your knife, and money...or just start kicking your ribs in with his steel toe boots.

    Maybe I am setting myself up...but if I am confronted by someone with pepper spray, or a tazer, or a knife...I have always felt pretty justified responding with my firearm...I was more trying to think about how I would respond if I wasn't armed, like when I come home from work.