This story might not have a happy ending.

Last night went better with Cat than the first night did....he only woke me up once, about 3AM being really loud and restless.  Before leaving for work, I got him fresh water, fresh food, cleaned the litter-box, and closed the door to my childrens bedroom.  I forgot to close the door to my bedroom, because at the last minute I decided to actually go through the effort to make my bed, so impress my wife when she got home this afternoon.

And that was problem number one with my day.  My wife and kids didn't make it home today.  Conditions at Snoqualmie Pass started bad, and just got worse from there.  At 10:30, the DOT closed the pass for avalanche control and 'several spin-outs and collisions'.  Usually when they close the pass for avalanche control, it's an hour or so...but as the day went on, the closure dragged, and the amount of road closed increased to where I-90 was closed between Northbend and Ellensburg, both directions.  About 4:30, they opened the pass back up Eastbound from Northbend, but westbound is not expected to be open for another hour or so.  Rather than deal with that, my wife just decided(and I totally concur, even though I miss them greatly)that she should wait it out a day.  If she wakes up tomorrow and the pass doesn't look any better, she will head out and make the 400 mile drive home via Portland, Oregon.  For the sake of her sanity, I hope the pass clears up.  We have amazing children, but 4 hours with them in a car is better than 8.

Problem Number 2 was noted as soon as I got in the door.  Cat feces.  I could smell it...much too strong for the little box to be causing it.  I did a quick tour through the house, and in my bedroom, my worst fears were confirmed....at least 2, and possibly 3 separate feces...events had taken place on my bed.  The bed I made sure to make....now that would have been a conflicting message for my wife to come home to.  

I cleaned things up, and drug our comforter downstairs to the apartment laundry room, where it just barely fit in one of the machines.  Ran it on wash cycle twice, then spread it out before drying to make sure the stains were gone.  While that was going on, I did some thinking.

Cat is very sweet.  As stated before, he looks relatively taken care of, and that, coupled with his declawed state would indicate that SOMEONE cared for this cat at some point.  I cast my mind back to my morning, and when I was cleaning the litter box...to the best of my memory, the material left in the litter box did not resemble almond roca...much like what had been left on my bed, it was had the texture of chocolate left in a hot car too long(hows the visualization going  for you?)

Could that explain why Cat had been left outside, waiting for some weak-willed fool to feel sorry for him...an excess amount of Anal Leakage?  I am hoping that for right now, it was caused by whatever he had been eating prior to me letting him in....or maybe the sudden influx of rich food(canned tuna and canned chicken) that I offered him prior to buying cat food, and that it is not an indicator of some chronic condition.  Leave it up to me to catnap a potentially ill cat. 

If this problem does prove to be long-term(which in my case means it lasts more than another 48-hours, or two more more feces related incidents occurring, whichever happens first)...I'm not sure what I will do.  My options are somewhat limited:

1. Live with it, and learn to find the fun in discovering cat feces in areas it doesn't belong.  Not bloody likely. 

1a. Cat gets over Anal Leakage, becomes perfect family pet.  Possible...would be 2nd best outcome after finding his real home.  

2. Bring Cat to the vet, for medical assistance.  Once again, not bloody likely...if I didn't pay for expensive diagnostics for my cat of 9 years, I'm not going to do it for a cat I have known less than a week. 

3. Throw Cat back out the door.  Overnight lows are expected to be above freezing again...the conditions which caused me to feel bad for the cat originally have changed.  Not a very likely option to take, since at this point I bet the cat would sit outside my door and MEOW.  Much like the tell-tale heart, I would not be able to ignore it.

3a.  Throw Cat out the door, then call animal control to report a stray that has been outside my door for 2 DAYS meowing.  A guilt free option on my part.  This option might have to be taken, as the local Human Society doesn't accept strays.

4.  Lie to local Human Society, and make up excuse for bringing in Cat.  This option would cost around $75, and, I'm not a very good liar.

5. Bring Cat to vet, say he is sick, and ask to get him put down.  This option might draw suspicion...bringing in a cat every-other month to be put-down is not normal behavior.   

6.  Bring Cat out to desert for target practice(.22 at base of skull).  There was NO WAY I could have done this with my last cat...if I did this soon, I MIGHT be strong enough...but he is awfully sweet.

7.  We locate Cat's actual family, and the story ends Happily Ever After.  Not Bloody Likely.

The way I see it, 8 out of 9 options end in some form of tears....mostly from my girls, but quite possibly from me.  And, there is always the possibility that somewhere in town, some other family's little girls are crying because the big, cuddly tom cat has gone missing. 

Whatever happens, I know for a fact that any options involving Cat going away need to happen sooner, rather than later.  My gut instinct, and disgust of misplaced runny cat feces tells me that unless he suddenly gets over whatever is wrong with his digestive tract, he is on a one week countdown in our apartment.

Meanwhile, I am wasting valuable time in my life searching the internet for Cat Diarrhea remedy's.