Adventures of a Modern Day, Middle-Aged Hero, on the Glory Road(to family security)


I'm so weak

So...it's about 8:15, and I am minding my own business, folding some clothes while listening to Toto videos on youtube, when there is a knock at the door.  I quickly pulled on a shirt and opened the door.  I had no idea what to expect(didn't use the peep-hole...poor OPSEC, I know).  Standing there was a little old lady.  'Is this your cat?', she asked?  Looking down I saw a husky black and white cat walking around her feet, meowing.

I told her no, that we didn't have a cat, which is quite true, since we had our cat of many years put down some number of weeks ago.  She went on to say it had followed her up the stairs, then paced outside her door for a while, so she thought maybe it belonged to someone in our area.  Could be I said, and did my best 'Not interested' impression, all the while thinking about the temperature being 25 degrees or so, and bound to get colder than that.

Once I closed the door...I couldn't concentrate on the nothing I had been doing before.  About 20 minutes later, I gave up and opened the door...sure enough the cat was now pacing the walkway in front of my apartment.  Poop.  Opening the door further, I stepped back, and the cat walked right in and started a tour.

Double poop.  Seeking guidance, I traded a few quick and frantic texts with my wife...Argh...no litter, no food....argh!!!!!!  SWMBO pointed out Safeway and Big Lots are less than two minutes away.  Argh!!!!

We set a course of action...I would go to the store to buy the cheapest litter box and litter I could find.  The cat would get placed back outside while I ran my errand.  If it was there when I got back, I would let it spend the night, then 'Found Cat'signs would go up tomorrow. 

Spent $9.75 at Big Lots...and when I got back to the apartment, the cat was gone.

That's cool.  I mean...we had told the girls when we buy a house we can get kittens.  An adult tomcat didn't fit in our plans.  Plus, lets say he does have a family...my girls would have been broken hearted to see him go away. Having rationalized it thus, I continued to check the door every 20 minutes to see if he was back, even going to length of doing IRONING to stay up later.  Finally, about 10:15, I heard a meowing at the door...


Currently, his name is 'Cat'  He likes to be petted and purrs LOUD.  If he doesn't settle in some place and stop MEOWING he is going back outside.  I've shown him where his litter box is, he has a bowl of Honest-to-Gosh Tuna, and a bowl of water.  He seems very healthy, and I am assuming it is a him...likes to have his belly rubbed and I didn't feel any teats.  He has been de-clawed...and he is a moose..my guess is 15 pounds or more.

I swear by all that is WHOLLY...tomorrow I'm putting up signs...you can't make this stuff up. 


  1. They say that during the Great Depression, hobos would mark the fence posts (or mailboxes, etc) of homes where food, shelter and comfort might be found. I swear to God animals do it too. Since 'Cat' is declawed and well fed, I suspect he just recruited you to be a member of a large, spread-out family. Either that or he has lost his family and "Tag! You're it!"

    If he sticks around, keep in mind that grateful strays usually make excellent pets! (and good mentors for new kittens...)

  2. I am going to hope he is lost. I wouldn't want to think of who would dump a declawed cat. (Then again, my opinions on declawing are pretty dim too.)