Adventures of a Modern Day, Middle-Aged Hero, on the Glory Road(to family security)


Because we are scared of the dark.

My wife's little Orgy of Organization is winding down, simply because we are in an apartment, and there is only so much to organize. 

One of her last major projects was the linen closet off of our bathroom, or what could have been a linen closet if we were less prepared individuals.  In our case, it's much more multipurpose than that, linen's being one of the few things NOT stored in it.  Most of the contents can be broken down in three categories: Medical/First Aid, Personal Hygiene, and candles. 

While she was doing this, we discussed it would be a good opportunity to start an actual inventory of what we have in stock.  She didn't go down to the last band aid, but she kept track of the major stuff:

14 Bottle of Shampoo
10 Bottles of Conditioner(answering Adam Sandlers question about which one is more important)
35 Bars of soap(although, 12 of them are little hotel size bars)
56 Disposable Razor's
75 Replaceable Razor Blades(but, much like my ammo collection, there is too much variety...I think we have a few blades without matching handles)
10 bottles of hand sanitizer(I think my wife the germ-freak nurse would drink this if she could)

And then, we have candles.
306 small candles(tea lights, votives, and thin hanukkah style tapers)
288 Shabbos candles
Roughly 40 medium/large column candles that don't fit any specific categories. 

Yeah, that's a total of about 634 wicks. 

Why so many candles?  I'm not sure...they just seem to be something that we buy whenever they are on sale, and then use only sparingly.  It's not like they are going to go bad, so why not stock up on them when they are on sale. 

Do I think that this closet full of stuff is going to help me survive in the Zombie Apocolypse?  No...but at least we won't die in the dark

1 comment:

  1. Two words... Straight Razor.

    A good antique can be had cheap. The shave, with a little practice, is very fine. You won't cut your throat (though you're liable to Nick yourself the first few shaves), and you will never need to buy cartridges again.