It's not just the name of a movie...it's also sometimes the truth.
While I am not already full of 'I made the wrong choice leaving the Shipyard' Doom and Gloom, I am encountering isolated pockets of doubt.
I am 100% certain that a lot of this doubt is coming from the lack of my wife and kids.
Even under the best of circumstances, my wife would tell you I am on the jagged edge of depression. Actually, depression is a bad word for it, because that would imply I should see a doctor about some medicine. Melancholy is probably a better word for it. And I tended to think it was brought on by my occupation. I was increasingly worried that by turning off my 'care' factor at work to keep from being overly frustrated, I was going to have a hard time turning the 'care' back on to enjoy time with my family.
Another way of looking at it is that I require quality time with my wife and children to recharge the battery that allows me to deal with the stupidity present in the world at large. And that is probably even more correct than blaming it on work.
And so now, I find myself working a new job, dealing with a whole new bunch of melancholy inducing situations, without any chance to get better each night.
Perhaps the biggest thing currently effecting my mood is some reality about where I am going to be able to look for a house out here. SWMBO and I were looking in Benton City, West Richland and South Kennewick as a possible location where you can find a house on 2+ acres in our price range. Well, the reality is, that the drive in the morning to my actual work site is longer than I thought it would be. By about 10-15 minutes meaning that instead of the South Kennewick houses being 40-minutes drive, they are really closer to the 1 hour point if traffic is not ideal. Which, once you are working scheduled 9 hour days(7-4:30), it means 4 days a week I would be LUCKY to get home prior to 5:30.
I am not sure I want to deal with that. I like to cook...and that means dinner will be 7:00, which is LATE.
All is not lost...the areas in Benton City and South-West Richland are still out there. But while are wise that still leaves over half of our hoped for space for property available, in terms of total available house inventory...well South Kennewick accounted for well over 50% of the available inventory.
I handle changes in plans very poorly also. My amazing wife knows this, and given a week or so, I will start to adapt to the new reality of where we can look for a house. It also increases the chances that we might just look for a normal house in a neighborhood. And there are some cute neighborhoods. I just need to be able to change my stubborn Taurus mind and roll with the punches.