Reality setting in

I am at least 61% certain(Super Majority!) that the career change I am undertaking is the right thing in the long run.  The little pie charts, graphs, and pro/con lists I made prior to saying yes convinced me that in terms of job satisfaction, family time, increased self sufficiency, and maintenance of sanity, that taking this leap was something we had to do, and would pay off with a richer, more rewarding life.  Eventually. 

I even knew(and warned SHMBO) that in the short term, there would be days like this.  Days when I would question the neccessity of this move.  As stated previously, there was nothing that wrong with my job at the Ship Yard.  Good pay and good long-term security...95% of the population would say that is what work is for.  You aren't supposed to worry about actually liking your job...that is why it is called a job! 

And days like today, I would agree with them.  Days when the upstairs TV is turned to HGTV, and every house looks perfect and dazzling, which is not how ours looks.  Stupid HGTV...if women complain that Playboy sets unfair expectations of female beauty, then what about HGTV ?  Who is going to want to buy this house? is the familiar question out of my mouth.  SHMBO replies, we did!  Yeah...but we were dumb, is the only thing I can think of to say.

Her responce?  'And there is some other dumb couple out there right now, looking for their first house, who won't see any of the problems you see with this house...all they will see is opportunity for a new life.'

The fact that she is right didn't fight off the growing funk. 

Neither did the way my Patriots rolled over in the 2nd half.  Ick.  Baseball and Baketball, all I really pay attention to is the playoffs...so, watching the 2nd half of that game added to the blackness in my soul. 

Sitting down to dinner, it came to a head when I realized that next Sunday, I won't be having dinner with my family...next Sunday I will be driving to the Tri-Cities to start my new job the following day.  I will be an every other weekend husband/father until either the house sells, or we figure we can cover both the old mortgage and rent on a new apartment in the Tri-Cities.  Looking across the dinner table at two sets of beautiful blue eyes completed the funk.  SHMBO noted the 1000 yard stare at the dinner table, and tried to snap me out of it, but it was too late. 

Just wish 30-year from now me had a time machine to PROVE it is all going to be worth it. 

'When the ship lifts, all bills are paid.  No regrets. - from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long.