Ignorance is bliss.

The human body is a wonderful creation.  I never imagined that as I was moving from my mid-30's into my late 30's, I would still be learning new things about my body. 

There I was, minding my own business, brushing my teeth, making strange faces in the mirror, when I saw it.  My tongue had a HUGE crevice running down the middle of it.  I even looked twice, and a third time.  Yeah...my tongue was split down the middle...and it kind of freaked me out. 

I quickly walked into the kitchen, where I had one of those conversations that only happen between married couples.  I told my wife I didn't want to alarm her...but would she please stick out her tongue.  She humored me...but her tongue looked perfect...like I always pictured a tongue should look.  To make sure I wasn't seeing things, I then showed my wife the LPN my tongue.  When a nurse flinches, it isn't a good thing.

She confirmed that I wasn't seeing things...but she also said she had noted the crack in my tongue before, although it did look bigger.  Since it was late at night, and I didn't really want to go to the doctors with a freaky looking tongue, we made for the internet. 

It turns out I have what is known as a fissured tongue, and chances are I have had it for a while.  There was just something about seeing it in the mirror, with my tongue at a weird angle while brushing my teeth that made it look HORRIFYING.  With my tongue politely in my mouth, you can barely notice it...it looks more like a shady spot in the middle of my tongue than a crevice.

But...I know it's there now...and it scares me.  It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.  I'm scared to sing along with the radio now, because I'm worried it might split and get worse.  I'm not creepy enough to take a picture of it myself, but there are a few pictures at the link above...and yeah.  Freaky.

I just want my innocence back!