So...December 23rd is a day that means a lot in our house, because it is the day when I finally manned up, and after a whirl-wind romance asked SWMBO to marry me.
The amazing girl who would some day become my wife and I met through the devil that is known as the internet. My understanding is that this is becoming increasingly common( a recent Match.Com commercial said that 1 out of every 5 relationships starts online now) but 10 years ago, it was a goofy enough concept that we used to lie to people when we explained how me met. It wouldn't have been so bad if we had both the same story to tell people...
It's funny how life works out. We had two close calls before we actually got to meet. The first time she invited me to hang out on New Years with her and a friend, but I said no, because she wasn't 21 yet, and what kind of sailor does something on New Years that didn't involve heavy drinking? The 2nd time, I was supposed to meet her at the mall, and she bailed on me. To this day she swears she had to help a friend baby-sit...I'm still not sure if I believe her. Because this was back before cell-phones were as common as they are now, I wandered around the mall for about 45 minutes before finally giving up. Luckily there was a note in my e-mail, so she hadn't totally forgot about me.
Life being what it is, and there being other fish in the sea, I put her name back on my maybe list, and it had to be 9 months to a year later when she happened to be online at the same time as me, and (mostly joking) I asked if she wanted to get together that weekend. To my surprise, she said yes. And we agreed to meet in front of the Wal-Mart in Norwich the next Saturday.
So...that Saturday I was in front of Wal-Mart, and she was no where to be found. I was patient though, and a few minutes later she walked out of Wal-Mart, with a bag of M&M's, that she shared with me.
First impression was that she was the cutest girl I had ever seen in my life. Curly, wavy shoulder length hair, an amazing smile that lit up her eyes...and a nice, shapely bottom to wrap it all up.
In the truck we went. We spent the day in Newport, Rhode Island, bopping from shop to shop. I quickly learned to let her walk up the stairs in front of me, because it was the gentlemanly thing to do(did I mention her shapely bottom?) At the arcade, I got my first kiss on the cheek, when I let her beat me at air hockey. I had my first 'oh my gosh, I screwed up moment' when she only picked at her lunch we ate at some seafood place.
When we got tired of walking, we climbed back in the truck, and she proved she could be indulgent of me. I spent 4 years growing up in Newport and Middletown, and so I asked if she would mind just criss-crossing Aquidneck Island, while I reminisced. It also gave us time to talk, and get to know each other better. I'm a sneaky guy.
The date ended back where it began, the parking lot of Wal-mart in Norwich, Ct, with a couple of nice kisses.
I was hooked...and it presented a big problem.
Like I said, I hadn't really expected her to say yes. When she did, it roped me into going out with her. Cool....but....I was due to transfer in like 6 weeks. I had just broken things off with a prior girl-friend because I didn't think there was time for that relationship to develop. What was I doing going on a first date with a new girl so soon before transferring? Well...at the time I told myself there is nothing wrong with having fun with someone. She seemed like a nice girl, and she was fun to be around. And there was that rear-end...
Fast forward two weeks...we went out a few more times, and I had to admit to myself I was well and truly hooked. She was AMAZING. And I was in a quandary. I was straight forward with her...I told her I was transferring in about a month, and that the 4 months after that would be spent going to school in Portsmouth, Virginia, then when that was done, I would be moving out to Washington. We decided to try to keep the relationship going while I was in Virginia(it's only about a 6 hour drive...less by train and plane). She came to Virginia about every 3 weeks or so.
For Thanksgiving, we ran up to visit one of my Aunts and Uncles in Quincy, Mass, and they gave her their stamp of approval. My mom had talked to SWMBO a few times on the phone and seemed smitten by her. I asked my mom is she would do me a favor...if she would mind mailing me out her old engagement ring. Things were getting serious.
When my class shut down for Christmas, I drove back up to Connecticut for the Holidays. Things were hectic, but finally on the 23rd, we got a chance to break away for the day. I had big plans. We were going to get around and enjoy some of the New England scenery. We drove down to Avery Point, and looked out at the sun setting behind the New London Ledge Lighthouse. Then we drove up to Norwich, to look at Yantic Falls, a waterfall on the Connecticut River. One of my buddies had told me that when it go cold, and ice-cycles started forming around the water falls, it was a beautiful site. Ummm....when we finally found it, I was crest fallen....there were no ice-cycles, and the falls are located behind an old textile mill. I learned A LOT about proper research that day. It was certainly didn't look like the kind of place I wanted to propose at. And by now the sun was down, so it was too late to drive back to the beautiful sunset we had left bind.
I was crushed, and totally thrown off my game. I had been driving around with the ring in my pocket all day, trying to build up courage and wait for that 'right' minute. The right minute was not looking at a dirty pool of water behind a textile mill. We started heading back to her house. The clock was ticking, and my confidence was waving.
In the past, we had discussed my impending move, and the fact that I wanted her to come with me, but I didn't feel it was right for her to come as just a girl-friend...so...I wasn't THAT worried that she was going to say no...but, the nervousness of asking that question is something that can't be described. Finally...about two blocks from her house, I pulled into the parking lot of a Hostess Outlet store, screwed up my courage, turned to her, and stopped. She had a look of complete panic on her face, like she knew what was coming, and was using telepathy to tell me 'NOT IN THE PARKING LOT OF A HOSTESS OUTLET'.
Back on the road, I switched to plan 'J' at this point, and we went to look at Christmas Lights. After a few blocks, she was less panicky. On one of the nicer streets...I put the truck in park, and pulled out the ring, and...of course, she said yes. It was very anticlimactic. Some hugs, some kisses...She loved the ring, especially when I told her my mom approved of her enough to let me use HER ring. We went back to her place so she could show her mom, where there more hugs, kisses and tears.
So...that was December 23rd, 2000. 10 years and two kids later...I'm glad I didn't do it in the parking lot of a Hostess Outlet Store. I'm not sure it would have made a difference, but the story would be MUCH less impressive to our kids.
While individual days(especially the last 18 months where I have been apart from the family more than I have been with them), as a whole, it doesn't feel like 10 years. It would make it was easier to believe it was 10 years if she looked any different. Oh...the hairs a little longer, and she wears it straight more now...but without makeup, and without kids in tow to offer up clues as to her age, she is quite often mistaken for being 20 instead of 30. And she still has that butt...
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