Even at the best of times, I have a tendency to be subdued and introspective. It's not like I'm Debbie Downer...I get along well with my friends, and I am known to have one heck of a sense of humor...I just don't believe in making noise for noises sake. Given the choice of being the center of attention, and sitting in the corner making pithy observations, I will choose being the smart-ass in the corner.
Occasionally(or more frequently if you ask my wife), I do go into pretty deep funks and stretches of gray. As a result of the general level of melancholy at which I sometimes live my life, early on in or relationship my wife started calling me Eeyore, after the 'O Bother' donkey in the Winni-The-Pooh stories.
Today was one of those days. And it really had nothing to do with it being a case of the Mondays.
Indirectly, Monday only enters into the equation because it happens to be the day after my wife and daughters headed back to Belfair to live the other half of our lives. It was a nice weekend visit...did some more apartment visiting, hung out with our friends, snuggled...good visit. But, as a visit, it had to end, meaning I woke up Monday to no warm body in bed next to me, with no little girls to give a kiss to prior to going to work, and no prospect of hugs and kissed upon returning to my apartment. Strike 1.
At work, I continue to be a useless as tits on a boar, or at least tits on a sterilized sow. And, the job...sigh. Much too soon to question if I had made a major mistake by accepting this job, but not too early to have doubts. Heck...I had doubts 30 seconds after giving notice. Right now though, I am trying to determine the difference between a frustration and a challenge. Things that my boss was working for the last 6 months are unraveling, and while I have not been there long enough to be emotionally invested in anything or have a real opinion, much like your family dog, just because I don't understand the words doesn't mean I don't feed off the emotions. Strike 2.
Our house in Belfair, aggressively priced to sell quickly, has seen Less Than Zero interest. An open house a few weeks ago on an admittedly nasty weather day had ZERO visitors. A Brokers showing had moderate interest but has yet to get any actual interest. Zero showing...and I am feeling down about that. It also means I still have an escape route, which makes things here look worse than they are. Strike 3.
Apartments here are harder to find than I thought they would be...and more expensive. The free market working properly, prices on the internet are all out of date, and many complexes are charging 70-100 more than what it is advertised on their websites. As a result we are looking at getting an apparment in Pasco or Kennewick as opposed to Richland, costing more money, and causing me to burn more gas, costing more money than originally planned. Well, not planned, but HOPED. Strike 4.
I just need to get over it. I knew prior to saying yes to taking this job that there would be three distinct phases: 1. Me moving and staying alone. 2. Family moving over and craming into an apartment.
3. Getting House in Belfair sold. 4. Buy new house in Tri-Cities.
I had kind of been hoping that 2 and 3 would happen simultaneously, but with a move date of Mid-December creeping closer, we are faced with the prospect that the house could be sitting empty, and I worried that once it is empty, it will be empty for a while...as in, ready for us to move back into when I retire in 30 years.
So...4 strikes...but I powered through today...I didn't hit the liquor store for anything to mix with my Albertson's Brand diet soda, and I didn't hit Sonic, or Carl Junior, or Jack-in-the-Box heinous for my body...I came back to my apartment, watched some Monday night football, and made a tuna melt for dinner, and was lucky enough that my lame Fantasy Football team held on to wine because while Pittsburgh got the win, Rothlisburger had a pretty lame game, so I held on to win my fantasy game this week.
Already looking more positive for tomorrow.
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